Coach Steve
|eyes = |hair = |clothing = |age = 47 |residence = Deep Queens Self Storage |born = September 11, 1971 |single = Unmarried |hormone_monster = Ricky (formerly) |enemies = Terry Lizer }}Coach Steve Steve is a major character in Big Mouth. He is the PE and sex-ed teacher at Bridgeton Middle School. He is very messed-up and characterized as a complete idiot, lacking knowledge in very basic everyday information. Biography Before Big Mouth Not much is known about Steve's life prior to the show, however in the episode "Steve the Virgin," it was revealed that Steve's mother had an affair on her husband with a man named Gary while Steve was a child. It was also revealed that Gary later locked Steve in a car while he committed suicide via a self-inflicted gunshot to the head. During the Show In "The Department of Puberty", Steve gets fired from his job and over the course of the third season, he got a series of other jobs, only to get fired from every one of them after a day of working there. In "Disclosure the Movie: The Musical!", Steve goes onto an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and gets a face-lift, permanently improving his appearance. After Terry Lizer gets fired from his job, Steve comes back and asks to be rehired. The Principal allows it and offers to give him a better paying job than a gym coach, but Steve insisted on being a coach again. Appearance Coach Steve is a Caucasian adult male with black hair. He wears his hair in an Albert Einstein looking fro and he has extremely thick bushy eyebrows and a black mustache. He has brown eyes. Coach Steve is plump and has a pear-shaped body with a hairy chest. He also has long arms and long, unshaven legs. Coach Steve wears a blue jumpsuit with red sleeve collars and a red trim. He wears blue gym pants that are way too small for him that also has a red little logo on it. He also wears white kneesocks with blue stripes, red sneakers with blue bottoms, and a red bracelet. Lastly, he always wears a silver whistle on a red string as his necklace. Personality Coach Steve is an extremely messed up-man with a woeful lack of education and experience in pretty much every basic category of general knowledge. He is a complete and total idiot with the mentality of a retarded five-year-old and a deplorable dearth of sexual knowledge and experience, especially for someone who works as a legally employed teacher of sexual education. Episodes such as "Steve the Virgin" prove that Steve is not only uneducated in all things amatory (proven by comments like "My mommy used to have a guy named Gary who would come to her house and do push-ups on her in bed." and "I would always find yogurt filled balloons by their bed afterward.") but it was also brought to light that he was a virgin. Later on in the episode, he would lose his virginity to Jenna Bilzerian. However, he would still be just as sexually oblivious as he was before, as future episodes such as "Disclosure the Movie: The Musical!", saw him make comments like "I saw Mr. Lizer play with his pee-pee in the shower until toothpaste came out." Coach Steve is a static happy guy, who never gets mad or upset about anything, even when put into a situation, where any normal person who could rub two brain cells together would reasonably get at least a little bit pissed off, mostly because he's too stupid to understand when he's being wronged for mistreated. In "I Survived Jessi's Bat Mitzvah", Matthew, as usual, insulted Coach Steve's character and mocked him for all of his recent mistakes. Coach Steve thanked him and Matthew told him just how astonishing it was that all of his witty zingers had to fall on deaf ears. As he walked away, Coach Steve pointed to him and happily called out, "Right back at ya, my dude!" In "Steve the Virgin", Jay angrily told Steve that he hated him. Coach Steve looked like he was about to get mad at first, only to reveal that he was just as stupidly happy as he used to be when he said "Well if you hate me ... then I hate me too because we're the best of friends!" In "Smooch or Share", Coach Steve's complete lack of any negativity, whatsoever was explored by The Shame Wizard, who tried desperately to pick his brain for any traces of shame, but on account of Steve's uncontrollable stupidity, he had absolutely no sense of self-awareness or introspection, making him unable to feel shame for any of his ridiculously shameful character traits. Relationships Friends *'Rick' - Rick is Coach Steve's hormone monster. Rick represents the puberty of an already full-grown man, making him a fitting match for Coach Steve. Rick is also designed to look very similar to Coach Steve with them both having the same hairstyle and coach whistle. Rick is always acting just as ridiculous as Steve, doing a bunch of weird and nonsensical stuff. Rick often compliments Coach Steve, by saying "You the man, baby." whenever he does something right. Aside from this, however, Rick seems to give absolutely no meaningful advice or moral guidance to Coach Steve, (unlike other hormone monsters), which leads Coach Steve to continue being a misguided moron, who will never change. In "Steve the Virgin", Rick told Steve that he would be leaving him for good. After Steve finally "made sex on a lady", Rick's work was done and there was nothing else he could teach him (not that he taught him anything before). Rick and Steve parted ways and Coach Steve was finally on his own, as a slightly less uneducated overgrown manbaby. *'Jay Bilzerian' - Coach Steve becomes friends with Jay in "The Shame Wizard" after Jay is stuck at school, waiting for his mom, who never came to pick him up. Coach Steve invited Jay to play tennis with him to help cheer him up and they had a fun time together. Jay also did something nice for Coach Steve by showing him a magic trick. Coach Steve was delighted when Jay said that he considered Coach Steve a friend as he was arguably the only real friend he's ever had before. In "Steve the Virgin", Coach Steve told Jay that he wanted to have sex with his mom and asked his permission before going for it. Although Jay was skeptical about this at first, he eventually allowed it, actually finding it very amazing that Coach Steve would be having sex with his mom. In "The Planned Parenthood Show", Jay was still pretty embarrassed about the fact that Coach Steve fucked his mom and visibly tried to keep it a secret from his friends. In "Drug Buddies", Coach Steve spilled the beans to everyone at the school about what happened and Jay got really pissed off at him for that. Jay yelled at Coach Steve, saying that he hated him and Coach Steve, not understanding that he was being insulted, happily told Jay that if he hates him, than he hates himself too because they're the best of friends. Jay left Steve after this and their friendship was officially over. However, Coach Steve still remained oblivious to this, as future episodes such as "Smooch or Share", saw Coach Steve drawing a picture of himself with all his friends. One of which was Jay, meaning that he still thinks that he and Jay are in a friendship. *'The Shame Wizard' - In "Smooch or Share", The Shame Wizard came up to Coach Steve and tried to guilt-trip him the same way he did with all his other victims. However, Coach Steve was so stupid, that he didn't have the ability to comprehend shame. The Shame Wizard kept trying desperately to make Coach Steve feel bad about himself for doing something, but Coach Steve just couldn't feel bad and kept making a bunch of annoyingly stupid comments. Coach Steve mistook The Shame Wizard's name for "The Shame Lizard" and also considered him to be a friend. Coach Steve drew a picture of himself with all his friends and included "The Shame Lizard". The Shame Wizard was deeply touched by Steve's kind gesture, as this was the first time anyone had ever been nice to him. The Shame Wizard finally changed his ways, at least around Coach Steve, and started being nice to him, liking him as a true friend. In "The Department of Puberty", it was shown that The Shame Wizard was still fond of Coach Steve and still considered him to be a true friend of his, even if he didn't see him all that often anymore. Love Interests *'Miss Benitez' - In "Requiem for a Wet Dream", Coach Steve falls in love with Miss Benitez, when she teaches him how to read. Coach Steve proposes to her later on, but Miss Benitez politely declines, as secretly, she saw Coach Steve as nothing more than a retard who should marry someone who is "more like him". In "Dark Side of the Boob", Coach Steve involuntarily assists Miss Benitez in teaching the class about the star constellations. Coach Steve tried to be helpful and friendly but just ended up being completely annoying. Steve would later accidentally knock Miss Benitez unconscious with a whiffle ball bat. *'Jenna Bilzerian' - Coach Steve first fell in love with Jenna in "The Shame Wizard" and it was clear that Jenna returned his feelings and willing to fuck him. Coach Steve was excited to finally "make sex on a lady", but remembered that Jenna was the mother of his newfound friend, Jay. Coach Steve feared that if he fucked his mom, it would ruin their friendship. In "Steve the Virgin", Coach Steve was honest and accidentally upfront with Jay about wanting to fuck his mom. Jay, while disturbed by this, understood that if he denied Coach Steve permission to do it, he would be cockblocking him and forcing Coach Steve to stay a virgin, so Jay allowed them to go out. While Guy was away at work, Jenna had Coach Steve come over so they could have sex. Coach Steve was very awkward and nervous when getting it on with Jenna as this was his first time and he had no idea what he was doing. Jenna assumed that Coach Steve was experienced and that he was just role-playing as an "innocent guy" so she played along with him and did all the work when fucking him. At the end of the episode, Coach Steve came back to go on a date with his new girlfriend but Jay urged him to leave because his dad was back from his business trip, so he had to keep his relationship secret. Coach Steve and Jenna are still in a relationship but because the latter's husband is very present in her life, she and Coach Steve need to avoid communication for a while. Family Very little is known about Coach Steve's family, as none of his family members have appeared on the show. However, he has mentioned his parents occasionally in dialogue. *'Mom' - Coach Steve has made numerous comments, that suggest that his mom is an adulterer in "Steve the Virgin", claiming that when he was a child, his mom used to have a guy named Gary who would come to the house, while his dad was away and "do push-ups" on her in bed (sex) and he noticed tons of "yogurt filled balloons" all over the floor (semen filled condoms). To this day, he still has no idea what was really happening. It can be implied that she is still alive, but very old and close to death because in "Everybody Bleeds", Coach Steve mentioned that she is dating her hospice nurse. In "Steve the Virgin", Coach Steve briefly mentioned his mother to Jay, when the latter was complaining about how his own mom was neglectful to him. Coach Steve didn't really mention anything important as all he did was say how his mom used to feed him when he was younger. *'Dad' - In "The Pornscape", Coach Steve said that his father was buried in a pet cemetery, which means that his father is dead and also implies that his father is either an animal, someone with a very weird burial plot, or someone who was seen as so barbaric and uncivilized that people felt the need to bury him in a graveyard for animals. In "Steve the Virgin", it was revealed that Steve's mom used to cheat on Steve's dad with a guy named Gary, while the latter was away at work. *'Siblings' - It is unknown if Coach Steve has any siblings, but it's obvious that he does have some backwards, unhealthy views on the concept of blood-related relatives. In "Drug Buddies", Coach Steve saw Andrew and Lola making out and asked, "If they're not brother and sister, then why are they making smoochies with each other?" This would imply that Coach Steve sees non-incestuous relationships as disgustingly unnatural. Again, it's unknown if Coach Steve even has any siblings, but if he does, this could hint that he could have been involved with incest at one point. Either that, or it could mean that his parents were brother and sister, which would explain a lot about why Coach Steve is so messed-up and ugly. Trivia *Coach Steve is partly based on "Ref Jeff" from The Nick Kroll Show, another dim-witted gym coach, who tries and fails to make friends, also played by Nick Kroll. *Coach Steve has, in one way or the other, appeared in every episode of the series. *Coach Steve is illiterate. *Coach Steve is medically classified as a "man-baby". Although not much is explained about what exactly a "man-baby" is, the name alone is pretty indicative that it's exactly what it sounds like and this description fits him very well and would explain a lot of his messed-up behavior and sheer stupidity. *Coach Steve refers to his penis as his "peanut". *Coach Steve works a second job as a DJ, where he goes under the pseudonym "DJ Pendejo". He brought this into action in the episodes "I Survived Jessi's Bat Mitzvah" and "Guy Town". **In Spanish "Pendejo" is a derogatory term for "Stupid". *In "The Head Push", it was revealed that Coach Steve tried to become a Scientologist once, but was "rejected" from the religion for being too weird for them. *In "The Pornscape", Coach Steve revealed that he was born on September 11th. *Coach Steve is deathly lactose intolerance, as revealed in "Am I Normal?", wherein dairy products lead to vomiting and even death. **Coach Steve died three times in that episode from dairy consumption, yet somehow managed to come back after every death. *Coach Steve lost his virginity to Jenna Bilzerian in "Steve the Virgin". This led to Rick leaving him as his hormone monster since because of Steve officially becoming an "adult", which is only true if used very loosely in a metaphorical sense, there was no need for Rick to help him anymore. **That episode also taught us that his mother used to have sex with a guy named "Gary", while his dad was away. Coach Steve was unaware of what was happening as he thought that Gary was just doing push-ups on his mommy and leaving yogurt balloons behind. **In the same episode, he also revealed that he was born with eyeballs on his penis, but the doctor removed them when he was four. *In "The Department of Puberty", he claims to have traveled to LaGuardia using only marbles as transportation. *In "Disclosure the Movie: The Musical!", it was revealed that his first and last name were both "Steve", making his full name "Steve Steve". Category:Characters Category:Major Characters Category:Teachers Category:Humans Category:Adults Category:Males Category:Caucasians